《10到25岁》第四章(1)：导师心态是天生的吗？从斯特夫和塞尔吉奥者两个导师心态典范身上获取灵感

Stef Okamoto was born in the late 1960s in Longview, Washington, a small mill town between Seattle and Portland, Oregon. “My parents had no money to pay for college. People called us trailer trash,” she told me. Stef is now the director of manager excellence at ServiceNow. Before that, she spent twenty-three years at Microsoft, the last seven of which she served as the director of manager capabilities in Global Learning & Development. That is, she trained more than thirty thousand managers who were collectively running one of the world’s most profitable companies. As we’ll see, she’s a paragon of the mentor mindset in management.

斯特夫·奥卡莫托出生于20世纪60年代末，在华盛顿州朗维尤市，一个位于西雅图和俄勒冈州波特兰之间的小型造纸城镇。“我的父母没有钱支付大学学费。人们称我们为拖车垃圾，”她告诉我。斯特夫现在是ServiceNow公司的“经理卓越”总监。在此之前，她在微软工作了二十三年，最后七年担任全球学习与发展部门的经理能力总监。也就是说，她培训了超过三万名经理，他们共同管理着世界上最赚钱的公司之一。正如我们将看到的，她是管理界导师心态的典范。

Sergio Estrada was born in 1991 and raised in El Paso, Texas. His parents emigrated from Mexico. They divorced when he was young, and his mother raised him. She had less than an eighth-grade education. Sergio, his mother, and his brother, Kevin, lived in a women’s shelter until they moved into a friend’s home. All three (and Sergio’s grandmother) slept on a mattress on the floor and lived out of a suitcase. They eventually settled into a house close to the Rio Grande, which marks the U.S. border with Mexico, to be nearer to his mother’s family. Sergio attended Riverside High School, so named because it’s directly on the border.

塞尔吉奥·埃斯特拉达出生于1991年，在德克萨斯州埃尔帕索长大。他的父母从墨西哥移民过来，在他很小的时候就离婚了，他的母亲独自抚养他。他的母亲受教育程度不到八年级。塞尔吉奥、他的母亲和他的弟弟凯文住在妇女收容所，直到他们搬到一个朋友家。他们三人（以及塞尔吉奥的祖母）睡在地板上的床垫上，生活在一个手提箱旁边。他们最终定居在靠近里奥格兰德河的一所房子里，这条河标志着美国与墨西哥的边界，以便离他母亲的家人更近。塞尔吉奥就读于河畔高中，之所以这样命名，是因为它直接位于边界上。

People in the Riverside community are proud, but they recognize that there are many challenges. In 2023, a student was stabbed and killed in a robbery just outside the high school. Sergio graduated from Riverside High in 2009, and after he graduated from college he came back to teach college-level physics at the school. Like Stef, Sergio is a paragon of the mentor mindset in education.

河畔社区的居民很自豪，但他们也认识到存在许多挑战。2023年，一名学生在高中外的一起抢劫中被刺死。塞尔吉奥于2009年从河畔高中毕业，大学毕业后他回到该校教授大学水平的物理课程。和斯特夫类似，塞尔吉奥是教育界导师心态的典范。

Stef and Sergio emerged from very similar childhoods to enter very different professions. But their mentor mindsets have much in common. Stef and Sergio both have very high standards. They also provide generous, human-first, respect- forward support.

斯特夫和塞尔吉奥从非常相似的童年中走出来，进入了截然不同的职业。但他们的导师心态有很多共同之处。斯特夫和塞尔吉奥都有非常高的标准。他们还提供慷慨的、以人为本的、尊重为先的支持。

“My direct reports are humans, not productivity robots,” Stef told me.

“我的直接下属是人，不是生产机器人，”斯特夫告诉我。

“I don’t teach courses, I teach humans,” Sergio said on the first day we met.

“我不教课程，我教人，”塞尔吉奥在我们第一次见面时说。

The question I asked myself after meeting Stef and Sergio was this: Were they just naturals? That is, were mentor-mindset exemplars simply born that way?

在见到斯特夫和塞尔吉奥后，我问自己的问题是：他们只是天生如此吗？也就是说，导师心态的典范是否天生就是这样？

As I got to know them both better, I learned the answer: They weren’t just naturals. They had to learn how to use the mentor mindset. Their stories reveal how even good people with the best of intentions can fall into the protector and enforcer mindsets due to misguided beliefs that are common in our culture. Their stories also show how anyone can escape those unhelpful beliefs and learn to adopt a mentor mindset—making their own lives, and the lives of young people, much easier in the process.

随着对他们愈发深入的了解，我找到了答案：他们并非天生如此，而是必须学会如何使用导师心态。他们的故事揭示了，即使是怀着最佳意图的好人，也可能由于文化中常见的误导性信念，而陷入保护心态和强制心态。他们的故事还展示了人们如何摆脱那些无益的信念，学会采用导师心态——在这个过程中，使自己的生活以及年轻人的生活变得更加轻松。