《10到25岁》第二章(2)：导师困境的一个具体案例（工作场景）

Stef Okamoto, a manager at ServiceNow (a large technology company), was about to email her team’s presentation to a senior executive. To her, it was a mundane action, like ones she had taken countless times in her long and decorated career. To her direct report Melanie Welch, twenty-three years old and five months into her first real job, it was the most nerve-racking moment of her short professional life. The presentation represented months of Melanie’s work summarizing mounds of data—surveys, interviews, and more—to inform the company’s strategy. Once Stef clicked send, the senior executives would know whether Melanie’s work was any good—and possibly whether she belonged at the company. Melanie’s mind was racing. What if she had made a mistake? Would the executives question her work? How would that affect her reputation? Without a track record at the company, Melanie thought, the moment could define her.

斯特夫·奥卡莫托是 ServiceNow（一家大型科技公司）的一位经理，正准备将她团队的演示文稿通过电子邮件发送给一位高级主管。对她来说，这是一个平常的动作，就像她在漫长而辉煌的职业生涯中无数次做过的一样。而对于她的直接下属梅兰妮·韦尔奇——这位23岁、入职仅五个月的新人——来说，这是她短暂职业生涯中最紧张的时刻。这份演示文稿代表了梅兰妮几个月的工作成果，她汇总了大量数据——调查、访谈等等——以供公司制定战略。一旦斯特夫点击发送，高级主管们就会知道梅兰妮的工作是否出色——甚至可能决定她是否适合这家公司。梅兰妮的思绪飞快地转动。如果她犯了错误怎么办？主管们会质疑她的工作吗？那会对她的声誉产生什么影响？梅兰妮认为，在公司还没有业绩记录的情况下，这一刻可能会定义她。

According to our culture’s dominant narrative about young people—that they’re shortsighted, fragile, and neurobiologically incompetent (see chapter 1)— Melanie was overreacting. She’s a Gen Z snowflake, some might think. If you knew anything about Melanie’s background, however, you’d realize how far that attitude was from the truth.

根据我们文化中对年轻人的主导叙事——认为年轻人目光短浅、脆弱且神经生物学无能（见第1章）——梅兰妮的反应过激了。有些人可能会想：“她是个Z世代的雪花。”然而，如果你了解梅兰妮的背景，你就会发现这种态度与事实相去甚远。

In college, Melanie was an honors student and an athlete. And not just any athlete. She was a three-year starter and defensive stalwart for the Boston College (BC) women’s lacrosse team. Every year of Melanie’s career, BC dominated the competition, playing for the national championship six years straight, as one of the most successful dynasties in all of college athletics. Just nine months before Stef sent the fateful email to her supervisors, Melanie’s BC team played Syracuse University with a trip to the championship game on the line. With eleven minutes left in the fourth quarter and trailing by two goals, BC had virtually no chance of coming back if they allowed Syracuse to score. A wide-open Syracuse player got the ball. Melanie promptly locked her down. Seconds later, Melanie was flattened by Emma Ward, one of Syracuse’s top scorers. Ward had already scored two goals. If Melanie didn’t recover, Ward would almost certainly have scored another. Melanie never flinched. She blanketed Ward, who didn’t see the ball again that possession. Moments later, BC got a turnover and struck quickly. BC scored three goals in the remaining minutes, defeating Syracuse and sending BC to the championship. Melanie’s isolation defense, with all eyes on her, had turned the tide.

在大学里，梅兰妮是优等生，也是一名运动员，而且是不一般的运动员。她是波士顿学院（BC）女子长曲棍球队三年的首发球员和防守支柱。BC连续六年争夺全国冠军，而在梅兰妮是校队成员的每一年，BC都称霸比赛，成为大学体育史上最成功的王朝之一。就在斯特夫向她的主管发送那封决定命运的电子邮件的九个月前，梅兰妮的BC队与雪城大学进行了一场决定冠军赛资格的比赛。在第四节还剩11分钟、落后两球的情况下，BC如果让雪城得分，就几乎没有任何翻盘的机会。一名雪城球员无人防守，拿到了球。梅兰妮迅速将她锁死。几秒钟后，梅兰妮被雪城头号得分手艾玛·沃德撞倒。沃德已经进了两球。如果梅兰妮不能恢复，沃德几乎肯定会再进一球。梅兰妮毫不退缩。她严防沃德，使她在那次控球中再也没有看到球。片刻之后，BC抢断成功并迅速反击。BC在剩余的几分钟内连进三球，击败雪城，晋级冠军赛。梅兰妮的孤立防守，在众目睽睽之下，扭转了局势。

Twentysomething Melanie Welch is not one to wilt under pressure. On the lacrosse field, she never backed down from a challenge. Not even in the face of long odds and a crushing collision with a powerful adversary. It’s not likely that Melanie’s strength and resilience, cultivated over a decade of playing her sport at the highest level—all while maintaining an honors-level grade point average at an elite school—evaporated the moment she entered corporate America.

二十几岁的梅兰妮·韦尔奇，不是在压力下退缩的人。在长曲棍球场上，她从未在面对挑战时退缩过。即使面对着渺茫的胜算，甚至与强大的对手激烈对抗，她也毫不示弱。梅兰妮在十年最高水平的运动中培养出的力量和韧性——同时在一所精英学校保持优等生的平均绩点——不太可能在她进入企业界的那一刻消失。

Why, then, was Melanie so anxious about a work email? Because of the adolescent predicament (see chapter 1). As a new hire at a large company, Melanie experienced a mismatch between how she wanted to be seen (as a valuable, worthy contributor to Stef’s team and to the company) and how she was currently seen (as an unproven new hire). This adolescent predicament brought Melanie’s concerns about her social standing to the forefront of her mind. Her past successes on the lacrosse field or in the college classroom couldn’t shield her from this predicament. After all, the company wouldn’t evaluate her on whether she caused a turnover in a lacrosse game a year ago. This is why even supremely talented and confident young superstars still have reasonable doubts about their positions and potential, especially early in a transition. Indeed, anyone who starts a new position or role, in which they must earn a new reputation that impresses people who have power over them, would be concerned about their social status, just like Melanie was.

那么，为什么梅兰妮对一封工作邮件如此焦虑呢？因为青少年窘境（见第1章）。作为一名大型公司的新员工，梅兰妮经历了她希望被如何看待（作为斯特夫团队和公司中有价值的贡献者）与她目前被如何看待（作为一个未经证明的新员工）之间的不匹配。这种青少年窘境使梅兰妮对自身社会地位的担忧成为她脑海中的首要问题。她在长曲棍球场上或大学课堂上的过去成功并不能保护她免受这种窘境的影响。毕竟，公司不会评估她一年前在长曲棍球比赛中是否造成了失误。这也是为什么，即使是最有才华和自信的年轻超级明星，在过渡初期仍然会对他们的位置和潜力有疑虑。事实上，开始新职位或角色的任何人，要赢得一个新的名声，从而打动高权限之人，都会像梅兰妮一样关心社会地位。

The adolescent predicament faced by young employees like Melanie sets up a mentor’s dilemma for managers like Stef. Should managers be tough (potentially harming reports’ confidence) or supportive (compromising the quality of the work)? Managers who are stuck in the old neurobiological-incompetence way of thinking tend to resolve this dilemma in a way that is blind to the adolescent predicament. Therefore, they fail to correctly manage young employees like Melanie.

像梅兰妮这样的年轻员工所面临的青少年窘境，为像斯特夫这样的管理者造就了一个导师的困境。管理者应该是严厉的（可能会损害下属的信心）还是支持的（影响工作质量）？那些陷入旧的神经生物学无能的思维方式的管理者，往往以忽视青少年窘境的方式解决这一问题。因此，他们无法正确管理像梅兰妮这样的年轻员工。

Some managers tend to think, If she was a high performer, she wouldnt need any support. I call this an enforcer mindset. In this mindset a manager focuses solely on enforcing a high standard, not on supporting a young person’s potential to meet that standard.

一些管理者倾向于认为：“如果她是一个高绩效者，她就不需要任何支持。”我称之为强制心态。在这种心态下，管理者只关注强行制定高标准，而不关注支持年轻人的潜力以达到这一标准。

Other managers tend to think, If she’s going to be so sensttive, then it means she cant handle the pressure. I call this a protector mindset. In this mindset a manager focuses on protecting the young person from distress by lowering their expectations.

其他管理者倾向于认为：“如果她这么敏感，那就意味着她无法承受压力。”我称之为保护心态。在这种心态下，管理者通过降低期望来保护年轻人免受痛苦。

Neither the enforcer nor the protector mindsets are a fit with what Melanie told me she wanted most. She wanted to be a high performer—-an overperformer, really—-but she also wanted a sense of validation. She wanted to do a good job, worthy of respect from her supervisors, and she wanted feedback on how close she was to that goal. Leaving her to her own devices, without a feedback loop, wouldn’t meet this need. Nor would lowering expectations.

梅兰妮曾告诉我她最想要的是什么，而强制心态和保护心态都无法满足。她想要成为一个高绩效者——实际上是一个超绩效者——但她也想要一种认同感。她想要做好工作，值得上司的尊重，并希望得到她离目标多近的反馈。让她自生自灭，没有反馈循环，则无法满足这一需求。降低期望也同样不行。

Luckily, Stef Okamoto doesn’t believe in the incompetence model. She is deeply committed to the idea that young people are capable of important—even astonishing—contributions when they are managed correctly. Because of that, Stef tends to use something I call a mentor mindset. This is a mindset in which young people are held to high standards, but they are also given the support they need to meet those high standards. Ultimately, Stef’s mentor mindset transformed an anxiety-provoking moment for Melanie into one that made her feel proud and valued.

幸运的是，斯特夫·奥卡莫托不相信无能模型。她深信，当年轻人被正确管理时，他们能够做出重要甚至是惊人的贡献。正因为如此，斯特夫倾向于采用我所谓的导师心态。在这种心态下，年轻人被要求达到高标准，但他们也获得了达到这些高标准所需的支持。最终，斯特夫的导师心态，将梅兰妮的焦虑时刻，转变为让她感到自豪和有价值的时刻。

What did Stef’s mentor mindset look like? First, she maintained exceptionally high standards for the work. The project Stef assigned Melanie to was not busy work. It was vital to gaining support from senior management for Stef’s new strategic agenda at ServiceNow. Although Stef cared deeply about the quality of the work, she never stepped in and did it for her. She expected Melanie to own it, which means she trusted Melanie to take it seriously and do a good job. When Melanie shared drafts or ideas, Stef was critical. She said things like, “Hmm, what would happen if we tried this another way?” No detail was too big or small to consider doing over. Melanie needed to be held to those standards because she didn’t yet know how the senior executives tended to think. Stef’s expectations, therefore, allowed Melanie to anticipate and avoid common criticisms. Further, because it was a real project—not an intellectual exercise—Melanie felt an authentic sense of accomplishment when she met a truly high standard.

斯特夫的导师心态是什么样的？首先，她对工作保持了极高的标准。斯特夫分配给梅兰妮的项目不是琐碎的工作。要获得高级管理层对斯特夫在 ServiceNow 新战略议程的支持，该项目至关重要。尽管斯特夫非常关心工作的质量，但她从未越俎代庖。她期望梅兰妮能负起责任，这意味着她信任梅兰妮会认真对待，并做好工作。当梅兰妮分享草稿或想法时，斯特夫会提出批判。她会说：“嗯，如果我们换一种方式会怎样？”没有任何细节大到或小到不值得重做一遍。梅兰妮需要这些标准，因为她还不知道高级主管们通常是如何思考的。因此，斯特夫的期望，使梅兰妮能够预见并避免常见的批评。此外，因为这是一个真实的项目——而不是智力练习——所以当梅兰妮达到真正的高标准时，她有一种真正的成就感。

Second, Stef was supportive. Rather than expecting Melanie to sink or swim, Stef was a lifeboat. Stef happily jumped on Zoom when puzzles arose, even rearranging meetings so they could have a quick troubleshooting session. When Melanie needed a second opinion on how to present to a specific senior executive, Stef made sure she got critical feedback from colleagues who’d pulled off strong presentations to management recently. Stef wasn’t just a cheerleader—although she was constantly affirming Melanie’s job well done. She also used her connections and time to protect Melanie’s right to be in the room. When Stef clicked Send, Melanie was nervous, but Stef wasn’t. She knew the work had been through the ringer already. Stef was confident that the final product would make Melanie look good in the eyes of management.

其次，斯特夫是支持的。不指望梅兰妮自主沉浮，她成为了一艘救生艇。当遇到难题时，斯特夫乐于及时出现在Zoom（一种视频会议软件）上，甚至重新安排会议，以便快速克服困难。当梅兰妮需要如何向特定高级主管汇报的其他意见时，斯特夫确保她从一个同事获得关键反馈，该同事最近成功向管理层做过报告。斯特夫不仅仅是一个啦啦队长——尽管她不断肯定梅兰妮的工作做得很好；她还利用自己的关系网络和时间，来保护梅兰妮进入房间的权利。当斯特夫点击发送时，梅兰妮很紧张，但斯特夫不紧张。她知道这项工作已通过严格的审查。斯特夫相信最终产品会让管理层对梅兰妮刮目相看。

Stef was right. The senior vice president loved it and was impressed. Already, the presentation is influencing the company’s strategy. Stef made sure Melanie got all the credit.

斯特夫是对的。高级副总裁非常喜欢并印象深刻。这份演示文稿已经在影响公司的战略。斯特夫确保梅兰妮获得了所有功劳。

I talked to Melanie the next day. She told me it was her best day at the company so far.

第二天我和梅兰妮谈了谈。她告诉我迄今为止，这是她在公司最好的一天。

“Stef expects a lot of me,” Melanie explained, “but she’s also there to pat you on the back. That’s something I need right now because it’s my first full-time job.” This makes sense. In lacrosse, Melanie got immediate feedback. She either stopped a player from scoring or she didn’t. At work, there’s rarely such feedback. That makes it harder to know whether she’s doing a good job, and therefore whether she’s worthy of her team’s respect. Stef’s high standards and high support allowed Melanie to get cycles of feedback, both critical and supportive, on an almost-daily basis, eventually building up to the ultimate payoff of earning a reputation as a strong contributor. Stef didn’t grant Melanie status and respect. Using a mentor mindset, she cleared a path for Melanie to earn it.

“斯特夫对我期望很高，”梅兰妮解释道，“但她也会在你背后拍拍你。这是我目前需要的，因为这是我的第一份全职工作。”这很有道理。在长曲棍球中，梅兰妮会立即得到反馈。她要么阻止球员得分，要么没有。在工作中，很少有这种反馈。这使得，知道她是否做得好，是否值得团队的尊重变得更加困难。斯特夫的高标准和高度支持使梅兰妮能够几乎每天获得一系列系列循环往复的反馈，无论是批评的和还是肯定的，最终帮助她赢得强有力的贡献者的声誉。斯特夫并没有给予梅兰妮地位和尊重。利用导师心态，她为梅兰妮赢得地位和尊重扫清了道路。